50 Disney Jokes for the Disnerd in All of Us

I’m a sucker for Disney, which means Disney jokes are right up my alley. Most kids are big Disney enthusiasts too, so why not brighten their day with one of these magical zingers? Princesses, pirates, and anthropomorphic mice—you gotta love it!

Best Disney Jokes for Kids

1. What happened the first time Mickey saw Minnie?

It was glove at first sight.

2. How did Mickey save Minnie?

He gave her mouse-to-mouse resuscitation.

3. Why did Mickey Mouse become an astronaut?

So he could visit Pluto.

4. What is Mickey Mouse’s favorite holiday?

New Ears Eve.

5. What is Mickey’s favorite treat?

Mice cream.

6. What time does Donald Duck wake up?

At the quack of dawn.

7. What should you do if Donald throws a ball at you?

Duck!

8. What does Daisy Duck say when she buys lipstick?

Put it on my bill.

9. Why did Goofy stare at the label on the orange juice all day?

Because the carton said “concentrate.”

10. Why does Goofy wear two pairs of pants when playing golf?

In case he gets a hole in one.

11. What is Clarabelle’s favorite party game?

Moo-sical chairs.

12. Why do Texas baseball fans love Chip & Dale?

They’ve been known to Rescue Rangers.

13. What did Snow White say when she was waiting for her photos?

“Some day my prints will come.”

14. Why would you not want to be one of Snow White’s dwarfs?

Six out of seven of them aren’t Happy.

15. Why is Cinderella so bad at soccer?

She keeps running away from the ball.

16. Where does Ariel go when one of her friends is missing?

The Lost-and-Flounder Department.

17. What does Ariel like on her toast?

Mermalade.

18. How does the ocean greet Moana?

It waves.

19. Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?

She’ll let it go!

20. Why didn’t Elsa see a doctor for her sore throat and cough?

Because a cold never bothered her anyway.

21. Why didn’t Anna and Elsa’s parents teach them all the letters of the alphabet?

Because they got lost at C!

22. What happens when Olaf throws a temper tantrum?

He has a meltdown.

23. Why did Sven try to eat Olaf’s nose?

Because he doesn’t carrot all.

24. What does Tiana say to a friend she is meeting for coffee?

I’m almost there!

25. Which Disney princess would make the best judge?

Snow White—the fairest of them all!

26. Who’s the funniest Disney princess?

RaPUNzel.

27. Which Disney princess is a cow’s favorite?

Moo-lan.

28. Why did the Disney princess get arrested?

They thought she was someone Elsa.

29. What’s the scariest Disney movie?

Poca-“haunt us.”

30. Why is Gaston the smartest villain?

He won the No-Belle prize.

31. Why can’t you trust Scar?

Because he’s lion.

32. What would make Scar a better lion?

If he were a little more Simba-thetic.

33. How do you keep Pumbaa from charging you?

Take away his credit cards.

34. What does Aladdin say when he sneezes?

Ahhh-bu!

35. What is Hercules’ least favorite car?

Mers–Hades.

36. Why is Quasimodo great at solving crimes?

He always has a hunch.

37. Why can’t Peter Pan stop flying?

He Neverlands.

38. What did Captain Hook’s sidekick say to Adele?

Hello, it’s Smee.

39. Where did Captain Hook go to change his hook?

The second-hand store.

40. Why does Alice ask so many questions?

Because she’s in Wonderland.

41. What did the 101 dalmatians say after eating dinner?

That hit the spot.

42. Which Disney character can count the highest?

Buzz Lightyear—to infinity and beyond.

43. Why did Woody give Bullseye cough syrup?

Because he was feeling horse.

44.  Did you hear about Nemo’s adventures when he went into battle?

He got caught behind anemone lines.

45. How much did it cost Captain Jack Sparrow to have his ears pierced?

A buck-an-ear.

46. Why did the cookie go to see Doc McStuffins?

Because it was feeling crumby.

47. What does Lil Jon say when he goes to Disneyland?

Turn down for WALT!

48. Why did the croissants take the doughnuts and bagels to Disneyland?

They thought it would be fun for the hole family.

49. How cold was it at Disney World?

So cold that Donald Duck was wearing pants.

50. Which body part loves theme parks?

Dis-knee.

What are your favorite Disney jokes for kids? Share them in the comments below!

Want even more jokes for your students? We’ve got them on numerous topics including math jokes, history jokes, science jokes, grammar jokes, and music jokes.

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