Need a good laugh? Is teaching biology getting a little bit intimidating? Lighten the mood in the classroom by sharing some of these biology jokes—eye-rolls guaranteed. These side-splitting biology jokes are certain to have you and your students cracking up!
Molecular Biology Jokes
1. Why do coaches love the powerhouse of the cell?
Because mitochondria have a “CHON-do” attitude.
2. Did you hear about the physicist who divorced the biologist?
They said that the chemistry was missing in their lives.
3. Why did the gene go for a massage?
So it could relax and unwind.
4. How did the lawyer defend his client, the smelly cheese?
“Your honor, you have to look at the culture he was raised in!”
5. What did biologists wear back in the 1970s?
Bell-bottom genes!
6. Why was the yeast cell depressed?
Her parents just split.
7. Two biochemists walk into a bar.
The first one says, “I’ll have some H2O please!” The second one says, “I’d like some H2O too!”
They clink their glasses and the second biochemist drops dead!
8. Did you hear about the daily special at the isotope store?
Buy an atom, get an extra neutron free of charge!
Buy now before half our inventory disappears!
9. What did the biologist write on a Valentine’s Day card?
I wish I were adenine so I could get paired with U!
10. What is the greatest artistic monument to proteins?
The Cysteine Chapel.
Ecology Biology Jokes
11. What did the car manufacturer say about his carbon footprint?
Carbon footprint? Non-existent. I drive absolutely everywhere!
12. Did you hear about the power plant that was bad for the environment all year long?
He got coal for Christmas.
13. Why did the scarecrow win an award?
He was outstanding in his field.
14. What kind of plant grows in your hand?
A palm tree.
15. Where’s the best place for a horse to grow up?
In a stable environment.
16. What is orange, about 70 years old, has caused enormous damage to the environment, and is a great embarrassment to the United States?
Agent orange. (What did you think I was talking about?!)
17. An environmentalist told me that forest area about the size of a football field is cut every hour in the Amazon rainforest.
No wonder Brazil is so good at football.
18. What vegetable do environmentalists like the most?
Green peas.
19. What do you call anti-environmental hip-hop?
Plastic rap.
20. Two spiders are on a date.
The male spider asks, “So why are you single?”
The female spider answers, “Oh, I’m a widow.”
Anatomy Biology Jokes
21. What did the femur say to the patella?
“I kneed you.”
22. Why did the medical student fail anatomy?
She just couldn’t cut it.
23. What has 13 hearts but no organs?
A deck of cards.
24. Are male and female reproductive organs similar?
No. There’s a vas deferens!
25. What do skeletons use to cut through objects?
Their shoulder blades.
26. Why did the skeleton take acting classes?
It wanted tibia star!
27. What unit of measurement do you use to weigh bones?
Skele-tons.
28. Did you hear about the skeleton that dropped out of medical school?
It didn’t have the stomach for it!
29. Why are skeletons so calm?
Nothing gets under their skin.
30. Why did the skeleton go to the party alone?
Because he had no body to join him.
31. What did one eye say to the other?
Just between us, something really smells!
32. Why is the brain a fan of cosmetics?
It helps to “make up” its mind!
33. What happened to the bear with a bad heart?
It went into Kodiak arrest.
34. Which bone can’t be trusted?
The fib-ula.
35. Why don’t six-legged insects get sick?
They have strong anty-bodies!
36. Did you hear about the place that had no viruses?
They all flu away.
37. Did you hear about the blood cells that fell in love and started a family?
Sadly, it was all in vein.
38. What did the biologist say to the chemist to get a date?
“Are you made of sulfur monoxide, copper, and tellurium? Because you are SO CuTe!”
39. Why are bacteria like hipsters?
They were on Earth long before it was cool.
40. Where do microbiologists go to relax?
Places of high culture.
41. Why don’t yogurt and amoxicillin get along?
One is pro-biotic and the other is anti-biotic!
Physiology Biology Jokes
42. The white blood cells and antibodies kicked all the germs out of the party.
The germs said, “Well, fine, you weren’t a very good host anyway.”
43. Why is the nervous system considered reckless?
Because it does everything on impulse.
44. What did the blood cell say before it died in an artery?
“I will not go down in vein!”
45. What did the biologist say to the patient who was afraid of donating blood?
Don’t be such A negative person. Try to B positive!
Marine Biology Jokes
46. Why can’t you trust marine biologists?
Something about them feels … fishy!
47. What do you call a group of killer whales that play music together?
An orca-stra!
48. What is a fish’s favorite vacation destination?
Finland.
49. Why do fish never go on vacation?
Because they are always in school.
50. Why did the octopus cross the road?
To get to the other tide.
51. What kind of fish goes well with peanut butter?
Jellyfish.
52. What do you call a fish that’s a natural-born leader?
A school principal.
53. Why did the whale blush?
Because it saw the ocean’s bottom!
54. How do you end a conversation with a marine biologist?
You “wave” goodbye and say “sea” you later!
Biochemistry Biology Jokes
55. How do biochemists find a mate?
Carbon dating.
56. Did you hear about the biochemist who spilled a beaker of sodium chloride?
He was charged with a salt and battery!
57. What do biochemists call a boring idiot?
A boron.
58. A guy sits at the bar and says “man, have I got some problems.”
The bartender responds, “Don’t worry, I’ve got plenty of solutions!”
59. A cation says to a store owner, “I’ve lost an electron.” The owner asks, “Are you sure you lost it?”
The cation says, “Yes, I’m positive!”
60. Why do biochemists like nitrates so much?
They’re cheaper than day rates!
61. Why did the biochemist break up with her boyfriend?
He was too basic.
62. What did the DNA wife ask her DNA husband before they went out?
“Do these genes make me look fat?”
63. How do biologists communicate with one another?
On their cell phones.
64. What do you do with a bunch of dead biochemists?
You barium!
65. Ever hear about the biochemists they froze at absolute zero?
They were 0 K!
Botany Biology Jokes
66. What did the husband say when he bought the wrong flowers?
“Whoopsie … Daisy!”
67. Why did the plant break up with his ex-girlfriend flower?
She has a real violet streak.
68. Why don’t flowers bike to school in the winter?
They lose all their petals.
69. Why did the algae marry the fungus?
They took a lichen to each other.
70. Why don’t plant cells ever win races?
Because they’re always rooted to the spot.
71. Why didn’t the dandelion buy a brand-new car?
Because plants are always a “hard cell.”
72. Why do Moss and Ivy make excellent friends?
They really grow on you after a while.
Biology Jokes and Puns
73. I don’t think marine biology is the right major for me.
My grades are below C-level.
74. I don’t know about you but …
Myelin really gets on my nerves!
75. We dissected two cow eyes in class today.
The jokes got cornea and cornea!
76. A tulip asked a daisy if it was hungry.
The daisy said, “I really could go for a light snack.”
77. Never steal jokes.
Recycle them!
78. If I rode my bike to school and back …
Does that count as re-cycling?
79. A twirling maple seed just planted itself directly from the tree.
It was a breeze.
80. There’s a rumor in the air about a new bacteria.
But don’t spread it around!
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Plus, check out Cheesy Teacher Jokes That Make Us Laugh Out Loud.
