Was your teacher Christmas bonus closer to $500 or $5,000 this year?
Just kidding, just kidding. We know teachers donât get holiday bonuses. (Unless you do, in which case I hope youâre thanking your lucky stars.) Most teachers donât get holiday bonuses. But that didnât stop a group of them from sharing about their âbonusesâ online. Youâll see what I mean.
Here was the original post a Redditor on r/Teachers shared:
What was your Christmas bonus?
I got a District Hoodie âBulldog Prideâ while my wife got $238.
So letâs hear it- did you get a bonus, what was it?
â@Alwaysworkforbread
A quick preamble in defense of principals: Nobody expects principals to provide holiday bonuses or elaborate, fancy gifts for an entire faculty! Weâre simply pointing out the painful, humorous distinction between whatâs happening this time of year in the private sector vs. woefully underfunded public schools (and, occasionally, individual principalsâ questionable choices in faculty gifts when there are so many more meaningful ways to show you appreciate them).
Check out what teachers got this year:
An email with a sparkly GIF
âWe will likely get an email with a sparkly gif saying how much weâre appreciated on the last day before the break. đ©).â âcymru3
A bracelet with the principalâs motto on it
âWe all got crappy beaded bracelets that spell out our principalâs current motto. Weâre all supposed to wear them in solidarity or something. I saw at least three in the staff room trash can before school even started.â âTeenakp
A sweatshirt with the principalâs hashtag on it
âWe got sweatshirts with our principalâs current motto/hashtag ⊠and we were told we have to wear them our first day back in January, which is an in-service day.â âAquariusENFJtwin
The flu
âInfluenza A đ€.â âdmarie1983
Food poisoning from cafeteria burritos
âCafeteria âcateredâ breakfast burrito during our early morning staff meeting. A bunch of us got food poisoning. Happy Holidays!â âMath4MeMe
One-hour early dismissal
âGot to leave at 3 p.m. instead of 4 on Friday đ€Șâ âMsSherKl
Requests to donate to other underpaid school employees
âI get asked to donate towards a Christmas bonus for the custodial staff. So I guess ⊠-$10?â âCaffeineGlom
The worst ornament.
âAn absolutely AMAZING school-themed Christmas ornament that mysteriously ended up in my trash.â âStopCappin28
Also, just a reminder why we shouldnât be making cultural assumptions of students or staff.
Wait, no. THIS is the worst ornament.
âI got a plastic Christmas ornament filled with M&Ms with a vinyl cutout of the first letter of my last name on it. Beat that.ââel-unicornio
I stand corrected. Official worst ornament.
âWe had a luncheon. The school (private) and the PTO went in on $100 Amazon cards. Much appreciated!
âBut the principal and another administrator went in on âsignatureâ ornaments hand-selected for each of us. We had to go collect them from a Christmas tree. Mine was a ceramic heart with cameras on it. The back said, âI love photography!â I have no idea where this came from as I do not love photography.
âI went next door to show a fellow math teacher what I got. She got âCornhole Champion,â which vaguely offended her.
âAt the luncheon, the ASL teacher remarked that she couldnât find hers. Right on cue, the principal walked up and enthusiastically handed her an ornament. âLook what you left behind!â It was a snowman with earmuffs. The principal pointed to the earmuffs. âGet it?'â âmeek-o-treek
I loved this follow-up comment:
âThat is Michael Scott-level leadership right there.â âAlwaysWorkForBread
Not one but THREE jeans days!
âWell, not to brag, but we got THREE jeans days in December (we usually get ONE benevolently bestowed upon us for the last Friday in a month). I was thinking about quitting, but Iâve been reinvigorated by the triple dose of denim.ââKiller_Education
A request to chip in ⊠for faculty lunch
âOur admin asked us to Venmo him 5 bucks if we want some of the pizza and pop heâs buying us for the PD we have the afternoon of the last half day before break.â âblankwon
Floor snacks
âI got an unopened snack-size bag of Cheddar Gold fish ⊠because I found it under a student desk when I cleaned up my classroom on Friday.â âSuper_Hedgehog1130
$1,500 to not quit
âI received a retention bonus of $1,500.â âExtra_Wafer_8766
Teachers, Iâm sorry you donât get anywhere near the bonus you deserve. But I hope you find a way to fill your winter break with things, people, festivities, and food that bring you joy. (Even if itâs floor snacks. I wonât judge.)