St. Patrick’s Day is almost here. Whether you plan on using St. Patrick’s Day crafts or activities with students or even reading a St. Patrick’s Day book, we think your students could also use some humor in their day. From leprechauns to four-leaf clovers, we’ve got you covered with these hilarious St. Patrick’s Day jokes.
St. Patrick’s Day Leprechaun Jokes
1. What kind of spells do leprechauns use?
Lucky Charms.
2. Why do leprechauns hate running?
They’d rather jig than jog.
3. When does a leprechaun cross the road?
When the light is green.
4. How old are leprechauns?
So old that they can remember when rainbows were black and white.
5. How did the leprechaun go to the moon?
In a shamrocket.
6. Why do leprechauns dislike leftovers?
They prefer left-clovers.
7. What’s a leprechaun’s favorite mode of transportation?
A cloverboard!
8. What dance move do leprechauns do at a party?
The shamrock shake.
9. How does a leprechaun end a conversation?
Irish you well.
10. Why do leprechauns make terrible comedians?
Their jokes are always a wee bit short.
11. What do you call a leprechaun’s vacation home?
A lepre-condo.
12. What is a leprechaun’s favorite type of music?
Sham-rock ‘n’ roll.
13. What’s the best position for leprechauns to play on a baseball team?
Shortstop.
14. Why did the leprechaun stand on the potato?
To keep from falling into the stew.
15. Why are leprechauns hard to get along with?
They are short-tempered.
16. What did the baby leprechaun find at the end of the rainbow?
A potty gold.
17. Why do leprechauns prefer dollar bills to coins?
Because they’re green.
18. What does a leprechaun call a happy man wearing green?
Jolly Green Giant.
19. Why did the leprechaun cross the road on red?
To get to the pot of gold faster.
20. Why did the leprechaun turn down a bowl of soup?
Because he already had a pot of gold.
21. What happens when a leprechaun falls into the Irish Sea?
He gets wet.
22. Why do leprechauns bow when the weather’s bad?
To make a rain-bow.
23. What’s small, lucky, and green all over?
A leprechaun who recycles.
24. Why do leprechauns love to garden?
They have green thumbs.
25. Where do leprechauns like to sit?
In shamrocking chairs.
26. What did the giant say to the leprechaun?
Look up!
27. Where do leprechauns post their photos?
On Insta-sham.
28. What do leprechauns say at the start of a race?
Ready, set, gold!
29. What do you call a leprechaun after a stellar acting job?
A Golden Globe winner.
30. What do leprechauns do with their unfinished dinner?
Make left-clovers.
31. How did the leprechaun win the race?
He took a shortcut.
32. What did the leprechaun say when the video game ended?
Game clover.
33. What’s a leprechaun’s favorite movie?
“Green Lantern.”
34. How do leprechauns pay for groceries?
They use lepre-coins.
35. Why do leprechauns make good secretaries?
They know shorthand.
36. What would you get if you crossed a leprechaun with a frog?
A little man having a hopping good time.
37. Why don’t leprechauns hate doing taxes?
Because they’re elf-employed.
38. How do you hire a leprechaun for St. Patrick’s Day?
Put him on a ladder.
39. How do leprechauns tell time?
They use sham-clocks.
40. What do leprechauns learn in school?
The elf-abet.
41. Did you hear about the leprechaun that opened his own store?
Now he’s a small business owner.
42. Why did the leprechaun super-glue his book?
He wanted a story he couldn’t put down.
43. What do you call a leprechaun prank?
A Saint Pa-trick.
44. How does a leprechaun work out?
By pushing his luck.
45. What did the naughty leprechaun get for Christmas?
A pot of coal.
46. What do leprechauns barbecue on St. Patrick’s Day?
Short ribs.
47. What is a nuahcerpel?
Leprechaun spelled backward.
48. What do you call a leprechaun with a sore throat?
A streprechaun.
49. What did the leprechaun tell his neighbor on March 17?
“Irish you a Happy St. Patrick’s Day.”
50. How do leprechauns celebrate St. Patrick’s Day?
By holding a lepreconcert.
51. What did the leprechauns talk about on their first date?
It was just a lot of small talk.
St. Patrick’s Day Green and Gold Jokes
52. Do people get jealous of the Irish?
Yes, they’re green with envy!
53. What’s green and sings?
Elvis Parsley.
54. Where can you always find gold?
In the dictionary.
55. What do you call a frog that jumped into a pot of gold?
A leap-rechaun.
56. Why can’t Irish golfers finish their game on St. Patrick’s Day?
Because they refuse to leave the green.
57. What’s long, loud, and green and only appears once a year?
The St. Patrick’s Day parade.
58. When does a leprechaun cross the road?
When the light is green.
59. Why are leprechauns so concerned about global warming?
They’re really into green living.
60. What would St. Patrick order to drink at a Chinese restaurant?
Green tea.
61. What’s the perfect St. Paddy’s Day breakfast?
Green eggs and ham.
62. Why do leprechauns have pots o’ gold?
They like to “go” first-class.
63. Why do frogs love St. Patrick’s Day?
Everyone’s wearing green like them!
Other St. Patrick’s Day Jokes
64. What type of bow cannot be tied?
A rainbow.
65. How is a good friend like a four-leaf clover?
They are hard to find.
66. What instrument does a showoff play on St. Patrick’s Day?
Brag-pipes.
67. What’s the difference between wisdom and luck?
One is clever. The other is clover.
68. Why shouldn’t you iron a four-leaf clover?
You might press your luck.
69. Why do we wear shamrocks on St. Patrick’s Day?
Because real rocks are too heavy.
70. Where can you always find a shamrock?
In the dictionary.
71. How can you tell if a potato is not from Ireland?
When it’s a French fry.
72. What do you call an Irish spider?
Paddy longlegs.
73. Why did the Irish drive all the snakes out of Ireland?
It was too far to walk!
74. What would you get if you crossed Christmas with St. Patrick’s Day?
St. O’Claus.
75. What should you say to someone running a St. Patrick’s Day marathon?
Irish you luck!
76. What does Ireland have more of than any other country?
Irishmen.
77. Did you hear Ireland is the fastest-growing country in Europe?
Its population is always Dublin.
78. What did the Irishman say to his lass after she broke up with him?
I’m already clover it!
79. What do you call a bad Irish dance?
A jig mistake.
80. What is Yadskcirtapts?
St. Patrick’s Day spelled backward.
81. What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a four-leaf clover?
A rash of good luck.
82. What’s the best way to pay for soft drinks on St. Patrick’s Day?
With soda bread.
83. What type of sandwiches should they serve on St. Patrick’s Day?
Paddy melts.
84. What’s big and purple and lies next to Ireland?
Grape Britain.
85. What did one Irish ghost say to the other Irish ghost?
Top o’ the moaning to you!
86. What do ghosts drink on St. Patrick’s Day?
Boos!
87. What’s the leprechaun community’s answer to Comic-Con?
Lepre-Con.
88. Why did the leprechaun put his money in the blender?
To make liquid gold.
89. What’s a leprechaun’s favorite kind of dog?
An Irish setter.
90. Why are leprechauns so calm?
They don’t sweat the small stuff.
91. How do Irish cooks keep their tools organized?
They have an Irish whisk-key.
92. You know you overdid it on St. Patrick’s Day when you think you’re kissing the Blarney Stone and it kisses back.
93. What do Irishmen say when you tell them Bono is your favorite musician?
“You too?”
94. What is Irish babies’ favorite song?
“Patty Cake.”
95. Why don’t women want to get engaged on St. Patrick’s Day?
They don’t want a sham-rock.
96. What do you say to the smartest person you know on St. Patrick’s Day?
You’re so clover!
97. What does it mean if you find a four-leaf clover?
You have too much time on your hands!
98. Why does the River Shannon have so much money in it?
Because it has two banks.
99. What would you get if you crossed a leprechaun with a Texan?
A pot of chili at the end of the rainbow!
100. Why do leprechauns dislike leftovers?
They prefer left-clovers!
101. What is Dwayne Johnson’s Irish nickname?
The Sham-Rock.
St. Patrick’s Day Knock-Knock Jokes
102. Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Irish.
Irish who?
Irish you a happy St. Patrick’s Day!
103. Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Don.
Don who?
Don be putting down the Irish now!
104. Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Boy.
Boy who?
Boy, do I love St. Paddy’s Day!
105. Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Clover.
Clover who?
Clover here and I’ll tell you.
106. Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Potty.
Potty who?
Potty gold at the end of the rainbow.
107. Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Saint.
Saint who?
Saint no time for questions, open the door!
108. Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Irish.
Irish who?
Irish I could find a four-leaf clover.
109. Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Ireland.
Ireland who?
Ire land you in timeout, so be nice!
110. Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Ireland.
Ireland who?
Ire land you money if you promise to pay me back.
111. Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Erin.
Erin who?
Erin as fast as I could but couldn’t catch the leprechaun.
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